Member-only story

Hit Your Girlfriend, Then Try To Drown A Cop? Rough July 4th.

A story out of Pasco County, Florida.

Ted Bauer
2 min readDec 31, 2024

James Michael Heiss Jr. had a rough July 4th of the year 2023. He apparently took his girlfriend out on a boat in Pasco County, Florida, beat (and some say attempted to kill) her, and then when others reported it to authorities, he fled in another boat. Two police boats caught up to him, so he jumped off his boat and was floating between the two police boats. Eventually the boats pinned him in, and a police officer from one boat attempted to grab him. Mr. Heiss chucked that dude overboard and pushed him down, essentially adding to his problems because he had now tried to drown a cop. Most of this body-cam video is available here:

I cannot find this specific court record, and I have tried, but apparently he was declared mentally unfit to stand trial in September 2024. His next legal action is in April 2025.

This Facebook thread has a little more detail, but obviously take some of it with a grain of salt. I will say the expression “beat his girlfriend, pepper sprayed three people, and fled in a boat” feels very Floridian to me.

Cops deal with a lot of shit. Treat them right (until they give you reason not to).

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Ted Bauer
Ted Bauer

Written by Ted Bauer

I write about a lot of different topics, from work to masculinity to relationships and social dynamics, I.e. modern friendship. Pleasure to be here.

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