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Great question, right? Let me try to trace it for you.
Last Thursday I finished core work around 11am. I knew it was the last day before my wife and I started IVF, and I knew she had a thing until 10pm that night, so I think I viewed it as some kind of “last hurrah” in my brain. I went to this place by my old apartment, Woodshed Smokehouse, and had some beers. I talked to a server there about the end of his marriage. I talked to my cyclist friend about his inability to make ends meet at 52. I talked to the bartender about her six — yep — kids. I rolled. I went down the street to another bar, Roundhouse, and had 2–3 more beers. I talked to one friend about his kids, and how his five year-old almost pulled the earring straight off her teacher. I talked to the bartender about her career aspirations. I went home, probably five-six beers deep. I watched some true crime and ate a freezer meal.
I had this happy hour slated for 5pm with some guys I work out with, and this was like 12:30pm now. I’ve been day-drinking for way longer than I ever should have, so I know how the game works. If you have something to do at 5pm, or can even be late and get there at 5:30pm, drinking and stopping at 12:30pm usually doesn’t doom you. Is it healthy? No. Smart? No. But will it drop you? Not often.
Instead, the thing that happened this day is my wife came home early, and we got in an argument, the details of which I will spare you.
She goes to her thing.
I roll off, sober to a 90% extent, but instead of going to the happy hour, I go back to the second bar from before (Roundhouse). I meet one of the same kids from before, who is kinda hiding out before he has dinner with his family. (At this point I’m like “Wow, I’m going to spend $16,000 to have children. Is this the outcome?” And PS I really do enjoy the kid in question, writ large.) So I have three beers there, and I’m at about 8 for the day. Then and only then do I go to the happy hour.
I get there and I’m kinda buzzed and have a few with these guys. Me and one guy are talking about IVF and general fertility and we start making up stupid drunk dances and poses related to fertility and long story short, I slip on some water spilled by some Asian tourists near me, crash to the…
