The Velvet (Gold?) Handcuffs Of “Similar Life Stage”
If you’re unfamiliar with these general terms, “gold handcuffs” — which are sometimes referred to as “velvet handcuffs,” although the latter sounds more sexual — means that you reached a position in your job where you really don’t like working there anymore, and frankly the entire thing depresses you, but … and this is an important “but” … you make really good money and/or are vested/have equity, so you cannot leave for the good of your family. It’s definitely not slavery, because of the good money, but it’s a kind of emotional indentured servitude. You march in place and cannot break free because of vague notions of needing to be a “provider.” A lot of guys who would rather tinker with cars all day or start an e-commerce shop for refurbished video game consoles cannot, because of velvet/gold handcuffs.
There is a similar concept in adult friendship. I was just talking to my friend yesterday, over a burrito that later made me physically ill, about this idea. You get into a neighborhood, and maybe (probably?) you have kids. Your kids go to X-school, either in-neighborhood or nearby. Your kids are involved in Y-sporting activities. You become friends with the parents of kids at that school and in those activities, because of (a) repeated interactions and (b) “similar…
