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That above screenshot is from a New Yorker article on toxic masculinity, which is essentially a review of a couple of books about gender relations at present. I’ve written a literal crap ton about masculinity in the last couple of years, including this thing on evolving masculinity, this ditty on assumptive masculinity, why masculinity can suck, and how to lean into the idea of toxic masculinity.
I do think the phrase “tragic level of alienation” pops here. A lot of dudes are depressed. The number is probably higher than anyone realizes. There’s a whole thing about males leading “quiet lives of desperation.” I think “obligatory model of virility” pops too. That might be a so-called trigger for me, because of my own infertility issues, but I also think a lot of guys I know or have met race up to 2–3 kids, because that’s what they think they want or their spouse really wants, and after Kid 3, they’re like “Whoa, is this it?” And, simultaneously, they often feel like a relic in their own home.
So maybe the virility path is … reductive in a way?
I always feel like there’s a bigger picture here that very few people talk about. First of all, we have deeply-embedded gender roles, and while some of that stuff is adjusting at the Gen Z and below level, it hasn’t adjusted for most of society. And while things like “pronouns” are valuable, they…
