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The Potential Decline Of Mom-Baby Attachment

It’s anecdotal at best right now, but we are seeing some evidence that a core tenet of the human condition might be in decline.

Ted Bauer
5 min readSep 25, 2024

One of my current hot takes, after four years of infertility and semi-frequently feeling like a deficient asshole of a man, is that we have a destination vs. journey problem in modern parenting. Whether it’s because of Instagram (easy target), or people getting married later and having conception challenges, or infertility, or an increased rate of miscarriage and stillbirth (has been reported), it seems a lot of people view getting the baby as the destination, when in fact the arrival of the baby is simply the beginning of a new journey. Obviously the creation of new life is an incredibly emotional and complex topic — I can even figure that out from the outside looking in — but I would say you have a few core themes around this potential problem of destination vs. journey.

  1. If you view your kids as a destination, and become almost Pokemon-like in wanting a specific mix of genders, you seem to be missing the point.
  2. Motherhood and parenting are both very hard — often cited as “hardest but most rewarding thing I’ve ever done” — and creating a prism whereby the journey isn’t as important as the arrival stage is…

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Ted Bauer
Ted Bauer

Written by Ted Bauer

I write about a lot of different topics, from work to masculinity to relationships and social dynamics, I.e. modern friendship. Pleasure to be here.

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