The Margaret Problem

What does a woman really want from life? Can we answer that question? And should it inform our broader decision-making?

My second wife and I are doing better these days, despite years of infertility stuff, in part because (1) I didn’t want to be a twice-divorced guy, so I needed to grow up on many fronts and (2) I eliminated my day drinking problem and mostly contained drinking in general. One thing that can still emerge, tho, is “The Margaret Problem.” You might also call this “The Margaret Question.”

My wife has a friend named Margaret. When we moved into our neighborhood, her and her husband were existing residents. Within a few months of us moving in, they got pregnant. About six months after that kid was born, they got pregnant again. Around a year later, now with two kids under 2.1, they left the neighborhood. I think initially they were going to build a “dream home” somewhere, but lumber costs derailed that, and they still ended up in a nice home maybe 15 minutes from here. I have periodically seen the husband at social entanglements since they left this neighborhood, but I cannot say I know much about him. Ditto her.

All-told, I believe they were in this neighborhood for about six years. This fall, my wife and I will have been here five years. In that other couple’s six…