The Duality Of Man (Or, At Least, Ashton Hall)

Two sides to every story.

If you’re unfamiliar with Ashton Hall, he went viral a couple of times, mostly for morning routines that start around 3:50am and involve rubbing bananas on your face and dunking yourself repeatedly in bowls of Saratoga water and ice to keep yourself youthful. He is a jacked black guy who seems to live in Miami, and while the source of many “influencers” money is always questionable, the apparent concept with him is that he coaches people to their fitness goals. I am not sure how true all that is, and I think there’s definitely a bit of “trust but verify” for every “influencer” online, but at least he has the body to back it up. He might be juicing, tho. We don’t know.

At this point, most of these videos are played for comedy and mocked by the rest of the Internet, and there is a “rage bait” element to them that I think Ashton and his brand managers lean into. They know that if they post an insane morning routine with a bunch of random fancy shit in it, people will lose their minds and share it with their friends. It’s another, less-relevant version of the Marky Mark morning routine that was all the rage for a while. People love to hate on stuff like this, both out of pettiness and out of, well, it’s easy to hate on.