Sure, Let’s Talk About Lauren Sanchez For Three Minutes

I believe Bezos and Sanchez are getting married this weekend (or next) in Colorado somewhere.

Americans are broadly obsessed with wealth, and while Elon has since taken over most of the wealth narrative, for a long time that narrative almost exclusively resided with Amazon Edge Lord Jeffrey Preston Bezos. And, about 27 years into that reign of e-commerce dominance, he and his trusty wife Mackenzie announced their split. Within almost seemingly minutes, he was tied to Lauren Sanchez, who — well, let’s just come out and say it. She is an older woman but has a very solid body and a huge rack. She spent most of her younger years with athletes, including Tony Gonzalez (with whom she shares one kid) and Derek Fisher and apparently some guy named Anthony Miller who made five Pro Bowls but I can’t remember his career at all, and in this article, Miller says Sanchez was “good if you needed a massage or lunch.” What the fuck?

Sanchez eventually had two more kids with a guy named Patrick, who is best known as being Ben Affleck’s agent. Then she ended up with Bezos. There has been any number of obsessive articles and videos about Sanchez since she emerged on the Bezos scene, including “Wow, this is the ultimate Mid-Life crisis, is it not?”