Some Notes On “The Demand For Grandchildren” Concept
I’ve felt this one in a few ways. There’s some nuance and a lot of bluntness around it. Varies by family.
If you’re talking about parents telling their kids, “Isn’t it time you knocked up Becky here?”, I think you probably need to break this concept into two related sub-concepts:
- How often does this really happen?
- Why are older people (or not so old) seemingly desperate for grandkids?
As for (1), I don’t think it happens as much as you want to believe. It’s a trope in general. I think there are some people who put overt pressure on their kids to have their own kids by a certain date or cut-off, yes. That absolutely does exist. I know a lot about infertility by now — more than I ever thought I would — and general infertility rates in the U.S. are 15–30%, give or take. As a result, probably 70% of people who think “Oh, grandkids could someday be an option” don’t even have to apply pressure. It just happens eventually. It might take a few years, but it happens.
There are horror stories in this realm, though. Here’s a take from Slate whereby a woman says climate change is a reason not to have kids, and her mother bursts out crying on the street:
