“Once she gets that third kid, you’re a relic, man.”

I once wrote an article wondering whether every woman wants to be a mom, which of course not all women do, but I’d argue most do, and I also just put three separate things in italics in one sentence, which is kinda lazy. I also do this email newsletter for a men’s fitness group, and I once wrote an email entitled “Once she gets that third kid, you’re a relic.” Similar to the title of this post, you see? Here’s what I wrote about then, featuring a Halloween photo of my acquaintance Kevin and his fam:

One time at a workout, believe at TCU, heard someone say an equivalent of the subject line of this email: “Once she gets that third kid, it’s over.” What was actually said was a bit more gross, and yes, it involved sex, which has now been mentioned three times in this newsletter. I am literally on a roll right now. Non-F3 member Coleman W, who has been mentioned in these newsletters now more than Cinco, once told me “After that second kid, man, you don’t appear on the Instagram for like a decade.” (I mean, maybe you do on Father’s Day, but like, that post has to be there, ya know?) Maybe Halloween too. Maybe. Speaking of: