Now Women Are Pissed Off That We Discuss Male Loneliness? Hmmm.

We live in this world where everyone needs a take on everything. It gets exhausting.

Ted Bauer

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YouTuber “Shoe on Head” — who is pretty good, and whom I just discovered — did a video about 2–3 weeks ago re: the male loneliness epidemic, which I myself have written about ad nauseam. It was her fastest video to hit 1 million views, so she did a follow-up about some of the comments and backlash, which is here:

If you watch that follow-up video, you see a lot, and I mean a lot, of anti-male sentiment and rhetoric, usually under the guise of “All men are toxic, women have woken up, and it is the failure of men that makes them lonely.” Seems a bit like victim-shaming, but hey, we’re all trauma-adjacent these days, right?

The easiest way to have this discussion is to be real, so here’s as real as I can be: some men are absolutely awful, and toxic, and they mostly see women as sexual conquests and not much else. That’s the type of male that gets covered in post-2017 society, I.e. the Andrew Tates of the world. That’s not most men. Most men are dopey losers looking for a purpose, utterly beholden to their spouse/partner in terms of responsibilities and friendship. Remember this old headline?

That’s more true, and more common, than the toxic male. Most dudes I know are desperately seeking purpose, chasing whatever they think purpose is, hoping their deadlift is OK (assuming they even go to the gym), potentially a functional alcoholic, and unable to commit to anything socially because “the wife needs help with dinner time.” That’s far more common than some guy who just views you as a hole.

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Ted Bauer

Mostly write about work, leadership, friendship, masculinity, male infertility, and some other stuff along the way. It's a pleasure to be here.