Melisa Lunt And “Sexual Napalm”

Six years on.

Ted Bauer
6 min readMar 4, 2023

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You may generally be familiar with the concept of John Mayer calling Jessica Simpson “sexual napalm,” which I believe was maybe 12–14 years ago at this point. She was apparently “floored” by it, but I mean, do the mental math here. Apparently they had “loud monkey sex” in a hotel in Rome once. Cool. Everyone deserves that shit, ya know?

So, six years ago today my first marriage ended. If you want to learn a little bit about that arc, here’s a post for you:

I used to work with a woman at a place called Virtuoso named Melisa Lunt. I think it’s Melisa Wight now. Not sure. We haven’t talked in 3–4 years. Here’s the rest of that whole arc.

My ex-wife and I broke up on a Saturday morning, officially, although I guess it began on that Friday night. (Most of it was on me.) This began a weird period whereby we were still living together because she (us?) didn’t have the money to move out immediately, but we were basically non-legally divorced as we lived together. This is March 2017. Hell of a month.

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Ted Bauer
Ted Bauer

Written by Ted Bauer

I write about a lot of different topics, from work to masculinity to relationships and social dynamics, I.e. modern friendship. Pleasure to be here.

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