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Masculinity: Where It Might Be Headed, and Where It Is Now
First: Where is “masculinity” (broad concept) at right now?
I’m not sure how nuanced this argument will be, but let me try to paint the edges. I see stuff fairly consistently about “how masculinity is evolving,” and on my main site once, I wrote about how we needed a new definition for masculinity, citing this passage from a University of Michigan business school professor:
Showing vulnerability. Men are socialized to not ask for help or be vulnerable — and they can be penalized when they challenge this notion. An informative set of studies from 2015 finds that when male (but not female) leaders ask for help, they are viewed as less competent, capable, and confident. And when men make themselves vulnerable by disclosing a weakness at work, they are perceived to have lower status. This is problematic, as not seeking help when you need it or admitting areas for improvement inevitably leads to mistakes and less development.
The difference between that first link and my link is that the first link claims a new definition of masculinity is already here. I’m saying it’s not, and I think we need it. You can point to different statistics about men staying home to raise children, or daddy groups, or male friendships becoming an increasing concern — “Men have no friends, and women bear the burden!” — and all those things are happening, and they’re somewhat valid, but I wouldn’t necessarily say those things are at scale.
In fact, just yesterday I was at this church group thing. My church group is pretty cool, but at this point everyone has a kid or is expecting except for me and my wife, so that’s a little bit difficult sometimes because like, is this just going to become a parenting group and we’ll be on the outside looking in? Concerns. Anyway. The sermon from actual church…
