Marriage Has Declined Because The “Sex For Stability” Model Is Outdated

Well, it’s one reason, if nothing else.

Ted Bauer

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Lots of societal hand-wringing of late about the decline of marriage. If you zoom out a bit, the divorce rate is actually decreasing in America, although it’s increasing for older people, the so-called “Silver Splitters,” which may indicate that people cannot hold a marriage together with semi-increasing life span (statistically, when you factor in COVID, I believe life span is actually decreasing for both genders over the last half-decade).

It is very hard to generalize or talk about marriage in the aggregate, because every marriage is very unique and they occur at the intersection of 900 different things, including:

  • How old you were when you met
  • Your attitudes about kids
  • Your attitudes about sex
  • Your professions and your goals therein
  • Your religious background
  • Where in America you live
  • Your familial history with divorce
  • Etc.

So again, it’s hard to discuss it in the aggregate, but we can semi-try a little bit here.

I watch this lady Pearl sometimes on YouTube. A lot of her stuff is insufferable, but periodically it’s interesting. Here’s a short:

In that one, she makes a binary argument about marriage:

  1. Men want sex.
  2. Women want stability.

Then she says 1 in 4 marriages are sexless. I’ve never seen that specific stat, but it wouldn’t surprise me.

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Ted Bauer

Mostly write about work, leadership, friendship, masculinity, male infertility, and some other stuff along the way. It's a pleasure to be here.