Known And Unknown Triggers

“Slipped one past the goalie” | “Looked at her and got her pregnant”

Ted Bauer
5 min readJan 11, 2023

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I’m gonna run through this like a thought experiment and see if it works. It might not.

If you read this site sometimes, you know I’ve got some problems with my boys, i.e. my swimmers, i.e. yes my sperm. I cannot seem to impregnate my wife.

Now, if you really get to the absolute core of what a man is biologically and all that, basically I am currently not a man. It’s tough to take on. It’s harder still because seemingly everywhere you look, and this is obviously a bias cemented over the last 1.5 years that isn’t entirely true, but … everywhere you look, you see a dude with three kids seemingly being completely passive, an outright asshole, or something worse to those three children. Of course, in those moments I don’t know what those guys are like as a dad back at the ranch. I might be right in my momentary assessment. I might also be wrong.

So, it’s depressing and exhausting to be a guy and not be able to do the one thing. I’ve cried a lot about…

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Ted Bauer
Ted Bauer

Written by Ted Bauer

I write about a lot of different topics, from work to masculinity to relationships and social dynamics, I.e. modern friendship. Pleasure to be here.