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Jessica Simpson Got “The D And The 3,” Then Got Out When It Got Boring
Within the raging wildfire that is American gender wars since about 2017, I have one friend (who ironically is high up in HR at a big company) who tells me sometimes that a lot of women want “the D and the 3.” No, that’s not a basketball term, although it could be. It refers to getting a man at a time when he still give you a good sexual performance (the D) and provide you three kids (the 3). At some point, the D will subside (age, interest, passive aggressive resentment) and the 3 will get older and start talking back. If the man in question doesn’t really do much in the way of “raising” the 3, then the man sometimes gets pushed out of the equation, and needs to find a 1-BR apartment to wield his D in the future.
Obviously this is broad brush, and most marriages take a variety of forms every 3–5 years depending on your age, your employment, your kids, the ages of those kids, your parents, whether they’re alive, etc. But the whole “three kids and the man is a relic” thing is a true narrative in many relationships, quite often brought about by the man not being very domestic as the kids need more beyond, well, being produced.
I had a huge crush/fantasy on Jessica Simpson during parts of the early 2000s, which is potentially weird because I’ve…