Infertility And The Long Quest For “Normalcy”

But it’s also worth asking: what is normal?

I got the first call about male infertility while drunkenly loading a washing machine in the first quarter of 2021; my numbers were low and I needed to go talk to a specialist. I’ve been on that roller coaster for three years. My wife has joined me at times, there’s been antagonism at times, there’s been tears at times, once we went to Fiji, there’s been shots in the butt, and there’s been a whole 36 months of considering lots of different things and angles and approaches and life scripts that most people never have to consider, or only consider in small pockets (or never at all). It’s been, in a word, interesting.

There is a lot to unpack about infertility and it’s sometimes hard to have the discussions with people, usually because of these things:

• They didn’t experience it so they don’t understand.
• They don’t see why it’s a big deal.
• They had no interest in kids and view it as a blessing.
• They lecture you on your health and decisions.
• They tell you there are bigger problems in the world.
• They just don’t really care.