Has Anyone Ever Personified The Mid-Life Crisis Better Than Jeff Bezos?

I don’t think so.

If you haven’t seen Bezos headlines of the last few years, he got divorced, he got with Lauren Sanchez (Tony Gonzalez’s ex), and they’ve essentially been going around the world on a 500-foot yacht — which almost closed down part of the Netherlands at one point — hanging out with random other rich people like Oprah, the Jenner family, and for some reason, Timothy Challomet (ee?). They plop into the U.S. for Beyonce concerts and fashion shows, then seem to re-appear in European waters. It’s an interesting little existence.

This is a non-story at every level, except it isn’t: because a lot of people look at what Bezos is currently doing and think that’s the dream end goal. That’s the entire point of capitalism.

Now Megyn Kelly is calling Sanchez “a hooker:”

"She Looks Like a Hooker": Megyn Kelly Calls Out Jeff Bezos Fiance Lauren Sanchez' New Look

This is an interesting little space to watch (read: no one should care), because Bezos apparently also left Andy Jassy with a goddamn mess back at Amazon as he flies and sails around the world.