Here’s an article on that. It’s long, but good. Think about this part to start:
And yet no one is entirely unknowable either. In fact, some of us are actually easier to understand than others. These people seem to express themselves in ways that allow others to perceive them more accurately. Psychologists refer to this as being more or less “judgeable,” or as personality expert David Funder calls it, being a “good target.” What actually makes someone more judgeable? Funder has argued that in order for people to be accurate in their assessments of someone else, four things need to happen. The target must (1) make information available and (2) make sure that information is relevant. Then, the perceiver must (3) detect, or pay attention to that information and (4) use it correctly.
Look at the bottom there. In terms of someone “getting” you, there’s two things you have to do and two things they have to do:
- You gotta make information available — which almost no one does at the highest, most vulnerable level
- You gotta make sure that information is relevant — which it might be in personal context, but probably never is at work (“managing up”)
- They gotta pay attention to the information — which almost never happens
- They gotta use the information…
