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Can We Blame Loneliness On Urbanism?
I arrived at age 42–43 without a ton of friends or quality relationships (I do have a few, though!), probably in large part due to age, being a guy, being an asshole periodically, getting divorced in 2017, not having kids, geography, and a host of other different factors. As such, I do concern myself periodically in writing with friendships and relationships and how those balance out and why people might be feeling lonely. As someone who has felt lonely on many occasions, including sitting at bars, I know it can be tough. I am fascinated by the idea/question of: “Most connected time in human history, but also the loneliest.”
In reality, that’s not a very hard one to answer: we are more connected, but in dumb ways i.e. through screens and in more saccharine-type connections, not IRL and power-walking with neighbors and all that. Social media and general “being very online” is also alienating in the sense of “Comparison as the thief of joy” (I know this kinda well from infertility) so that’s part of it too — you are “connected” to more people, but you don’t actually know anything about those people, save maybe their highlight reel, so it’s not true connection.
Alright, so we solved the baseline pretty fast.
