An Under-Discussed Adult Dividing Line: How Much You Need To Think About Having Kids

This actually cuts in a lot of different directions.

Logically, Michael Jordan thinks about basketball a little bit differently than Missed Shots Manny at the local playground. Why, you ask? Because (a) basketball has come to define Michael Jordan as a human being, and (b) basketball comes relatively easy to him.

It’s the same with many things in life. I am a halfway-decent writer and can write a lot easily. I don’t often think about things related to writing. I try to map out arguments, of course. But usually I can just go. If you are really good at math, or science, or piano, or in-bar conversations, often you are the same way.

I would argue it’s similar with fertility stuff. If you can just crank out kids — if you’re in the bucket of the oft-triggering “Looked at her and got her pregnant” — and kids are valuable to you, then you never have to think about anything regarding kids. You just go. If your goal is three and financially three kids is viable, bam, you space ’em out and that’s three. Welcome to the world, Brayden, Brahma, and Boogers. We love you all the same.

Now, if you experience infertility or miscarriages (which I’d argue are synonyms, but not everyone would argue that), then…