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A story of unnaturally long sex

Ted Bauer
4 min readAug 30, 2022

This doesn’t involve me.

It involves a friend of mine from the high school era. This is retold because, eh, why not … and because in some respects it’s funny.

Some back story on the girl: very cool, has a good sense with guys for the most part (this story isn’t an example of that), political, opinionated, generally pretty interesting. Definitely had a few phases of running through athlete guys in the 22–24 range.

On the dude: never met him face-to-face. From what I can ascertain and infer, about 6–8, wide shoulders, lower-than-typical intelligence, former wrestler and football player, likely a meathead in the most general sense. Passionate about hard rock, however.

Basic layout of the story:

These two had been casually hooking up for about 2–3 months. Sex had been had. One weekend, the dude’s sister goes out of town, and gives him the keys to her place in northern New Jersey. All the other times these two have hooked up, they had to sneak it in a friend’s apartment or a hotel or whatever, so this here — these keys — represent a golden opportunity to have some QT and maybe make a day of it. They go ice skating, grab some wine and (not censoring anything except names) some marijuana and head for his sister’s place.

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Ted Bauer
Ted Bauer

Written by Ted Bauer

I write about a lot of different topics, from work to masculinity to relationships and social dynamics, I.e. modern friendship. Pleasure to be here.

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